Opening to my souls call, aligning with my destiny!
In August 2002, I was working in Brisbane as a marketing director in the IT industry. I was attending a mining safety conference in Townsville (the city in which I was born). During an evening function a colleagues wife (now dear friend Raziel) asked me what my plans for the future were. To my surprise, I found myself detailing a vision to her and the other people at the table that until that very moment I was completely unaware of!
What I spoke passionately about that night for a good twenty minutes was of unifying healing modalities, strongly branding them to give them the credibility they deserved, making these modalities and their practitioners non-threatening to the average unawakened person. Creating ease of access to alternate healing modalities and encouraging practitioners to work together as a team to better meet the needs of unwell clients. (OK – I was not exactly correct, but I had started heading in the right direction!)
I also spoke of my role as a communicator, facilitator and catalyst in the journey from old to new. How I was going to communicate in laymen’s terms what could often appear complex or confusing spiritual, philosophical and healing concepts. How I would provide tools for individuals and groups to empower and heal themselves, to create balance in their lives, businesses and communities.
Anyway, I went home and wondered what on earth I was going to do with all this information? Seriously, why me? How was it possible? How could I possibly achieve this?
As a non-practising catholic I did not consider myself spiritual. I liked essential oils, I tried to meditate every now and then to manage stress, backache and migraine, I saw a chiropractor and an acupuncturist regularly, but that was the extent of it! I was 35 and thick in the matrix. I had studied medicine and worked in medical research for four years in my early 20’s but that was the extent of my healing experience other than being the patient (which on the quiet I was quite good at!). I had a Degree in Business, I was a successful award winning Marketer with a very well paying career and a lifestyle structured around it. I lived in an inner city penthouse, I had the car, the clothes and all the “bling” to go with it, I was a single mother who had made good – despite the many unusually BIG challenges both with my health and life circumstances along the way. What was the universe thinking! I was happy – wasn’t I? This revelation was crazy and it was all too hard, anyhow how would I afford it? So I chose to ignore it, to think of it as one of those weird unexplainable events that happen every now and then (yeah right!).
Anyway as I will now try to explain, you ignore your intuitive guidance and truth at your own peril! You may be asked kindly and gently guided for a little while, but if you do not listen, the big “etheric stick” will come out and clip you around the ankles!!
A few months latter I experienced a cathartic awakening. I was in a particularly emotional state resulting from relationship challenges and through a series of serendipitous events I had found myself at Crystal Inspirations upon Mount Tamborine (now a favourite location of mine). I remember thinking – “how strange a shop full of pretty rocks!” I saw a basket full of tumbled crystals and was guided to walk over and choose one, my life would never be the same!
The moment when I picked up my first crystal was a moment of “surreal” intensity. I was catapulted into an energetic experience akin to watching fireworks while travelling across the entire universe in a single second. Not knowing what a crystal was at the time, I was more than a little surprised by this experience ( I remember gasping and dropping the rock in fright), all I knew was that I had to understand what had just happened and what this ‘rock’ was all about. I took some tumbled crystals home with me that day and they stayed in my hand for days, warm, caring, healing and I swear talking to my subconscious mind as if they were long lost friends! A new growth phase had started to anchor. From that moment forth, crystals have been an important part of my life and constant companions, my home and healing centre are full of them and I LOVE crystal jewellery.
On the same day, in the same location at nearly the same moment, I was first introduced to a Frequency Healing Modality that would become a part of my life for many years. Sitting next to the basket of crystals, was a brochure about this healing modality that was advertising an upcoming visit by its channel.. My girlfriend who was with me at the time on holidays stated “if I were still here I would soooo go to that, it sounds amazing”.
To my surprise, a few weeks later, I found myself driving back up Mount Tamborine to participate in a healing circle with The Channel. On that day, my little ‘time-out to play Shirley McLain’ game, came full circle! I observed and felt a paralogical truth so profound that it changed my perception of reality completely, it could not be denied. Science is all about explaining what you experience and observe, so being the scientist, I had to know more about this reality and this energy –my journey to my destiny consciously began in earnest.
I started reading like there was no tomorrow and didn’t stop for the next two years, graduating from main-stream self help books to entrance level spiritual texts and then the more complex ones, books such as; Gary Zukav “The Seat of the Soul”, all Doreen Virtues books, Wayne Dyers latter books, Louise Hay, anything I could get my hands on regarding crystals, the entire Kryon series, “The Keys of Enoch”, “A course in miracles”, Neale Walsh’s “Conversations with God”, Gary Renards “The Disappearance of the Universe” and the list goes on. I discovered a world of information and spiritual conversation on the internet!
As I read it seemed to me I was remembering not learning! I began to realise how disconnected I was from my spiritual self, how disconnected my life was from this new reality; how myself and those around me were all trapped by the ego, stuck in an “illusion” I call the matrix.
From that day forward I was inundated by dreams of my path to come. Guides were at me all night long, saying you have to do something, get moving, you have work to do. It was tiring and I was becoming more and more physically and emotionally exhausted by the constant chatter. I was also getting many signs of change in my day-to-day life that were simply undeniable, it was freaky! I still resisted.
Slowly I began to realise that despite my successful career and my “postcard lifestyle” I wasn’t happy. In fact I was stressed, I was always fighting one battle or another to survive and prove my worthiness. I was actually quite exhausted and disillusioned, which is why I kept myself so very busy all the time! I began to realise that I was dissatisfied with my work, it suddenly all seemed quite pointless as it wasn’t making a real difference in the world. I wanted to directly help people! I was unhappy, rapidly becoming increasingly unhealthy due to “burning the candle at both ends” and I was scared about everything! I thought I could be going mad again!
As if all this wasn’t enough to deal with, even bigger life changing events started to happen, one after the other. I was being urged… mmh or was that pushed to step out and TAKE ACTION. I had a ski accident and needed a knee reconstruction, at that very time I was “pushed” from my well paying job in a very unsavoury fashion –so I started legal action (which took two years and a lot of resources to obtain a moral victory and just wasn’t worth the stress), my extremely karmic relationship ended, a close relative died unexpectedly and – I found myself lying flat on my back, with no support network, bills piling up, unable to move and rectify the situation. The universe had set me up, so that I had no choice but to look closely within myself and without at my life, to listen, to ask for assistance, to make changes and to heal. My transformation had kicked into first gear!
My awakening journey taught me valuable lessons that I needed for the transitional journey ahead. It taught me to follow my intuitive guidance, without going into a head trip about it, I no longer ask myself “is this my intuition or my ego?” or “am I making this up?”, instead I choose to simply know it is guidance, I do not waste my time and energy with such concerns. I often say to myself “jump of the cliff and sour like and eagle!” This is a process that we all have to work through and practice to perfect; it certainly is needed to transform your life.
When I get guidance nowadays (which most usually comes when I am meditating), I have become very good at going with it straight away. So I will set the intent and visualise, I may pick up the phone and make the call, start to write something, go somewhere, doing whatever I am being guided to do. I don’t rationalise and think about it, I just do it because it is my intuitive guidance to do so and I trust that it is perfect. I know that if I don’t follow my guidance I will bring challenges into my life.
I have also learned through experience that when I am DOING, I often find myself starting to rationalise, fears may rise up like “goodness what am I doing?” or “how will I afford the time and money for this?” I have learned that the key here is to remember it is these very fears that need to be cleared for me to manifest what I am doing into reality. The fears are a very important part of the clearing and ascension process, when they arise I clear them by running Transference energy on myself and by working with my mental and emotional plane, I send them to source! It is an initiation, an exercise in faith and trust. As I DO, I also ANCHOR!
So I just DO it and as I am doing it I will usually get what it means to me – a lesson, growth, clearing, increased frequency whatever. If the action is not directly for me, I am being of service to humanity and that is also very joyful.
If things aren’t going smoothly or are taking longer than expected, I will stop and talk to my higher self, I will look internally, look at my thoughts and ask am I entertaining any level of fear or doubt? If I can’t find any limiting energy, then it is time to exercise extra faith and trust, continue to run energy, have positive thoughts and to visualise the manifestation of my action, be open to receive answers and willing to change direction if I have misunderstood the initial guidance. I always remember that the universe doesn’t work on a linear timeframe! It is always darkest before the dawn, so when things get extra-challenging I prepare to celebrate! Above all else I try to be honest with myself, to recognise when I loose an initiation, to learn from it and move forward with new wisdom and clearer energy.
I am happy to say that as time goes by the process of manifestation and surrendering to universal guidance has become familiar to me and a new kind of normal. There is no longer so much stress and fear. I truly know that ‘no matter what is happening it is perfect and that I am safe, all is well and everything is happening for my highest good’. It is only by walking the ascension journey that you can achieve this knowing. This is why as a healer and teacher I have had to walk it fully – how else can I guide others?