I commit to loosing the habit of setting a crazy idealistic vision of the way I want an event to play out and then trying to be SUPER WOMAN to achieve it!
Oh dear I did it again……..
Setting a crazy idealistic vision of the way I wanted an event to play out and then trying to achieve it – by attempting to be super woman AND at the same time trying to control my family members in order to achieve it!!… it all started on Sunday morning.
I awoke with a gusto…. Yes my mother-in-law Gloria was visiting from interstate today (she is wonderful) and I wanted to make her overnight stay perfect, nurturing and very special – just as she had done for us on our recent holiday. I wanted to show her how much we all care, how much I care and how appreciated she is.
I forgot that just BE-ing with her and BE-ing love in our everyday real life – would be the perfect way to share my/our feelings…. Instead I had created a beautiful expectation which required a superwoman to achieve it by 11am (which was in only 5 hours time)! It went something like this.
- Darryn and I would share a romantic breakfast together, with Sheannah and Jordan playing in the near vicinity. Ensuring that we were all sparkling in our love vibration all day long (there goes an hour).
- I would of course be looking fantastic (hair clean and styled, make-up on, ironed clothes(ok another hour just here).
- Sheannah would be looking like the beautiful cherub that she is, clean, in her best outfit, having had breakfast and snacks, her morning sleep and now be feeling playful (add another hour of co-ordination).
- The house would be clean, tidy and its frequency would be high as I would have had time to light candles, burn incense, play beautiful music and re-energise the grids (say 2 hours for this one).
- I would have done the shopping to get all the special items needed for our family lunch, to which I had invited all her grandchildren (another hour).
- I would have had time to choose her birthday card and little gift, her birthday being six days away (say 30 minutes if I was in flow – which I would be).
So you get the picture – I had 5 hours to perform 6 hours worth of tasks, this would require a well oiled team, multi-tasking and no unexpected eventualities! I was up to it!….. oh oh how delusional I was! (Seriously I need to laugh now looking back).
So out of bed we leapt, starting breakfast… ahh the love, Darryn is cooking me toast, I am making espresso coffee’s, beautiful music is playing, Sheannah is singing to herself and crawling around our feet – all is well in the world, we are going to do this.
I start to TELL Darryn all the things we need to do this morning, how it needs to happen, so that we can achieve my vision – I share my vision. He seems to think it is a good enough plan… I think.
Then over coffee – I proudly pop onto his laptop sitting on the kitchen table to show him my latest New Frequency Child article “Essential Parenting Practices Inspired by Dr Emoto’s Water Crystal Research”, I know how much he loves this research…. We notice that a picture is not quite aligned properly, so we pop into the administration area to fix it… then WHAM the entire article goes absolutely haywire!!! (retrospectively the universe was giving me a non too subtle message – which I missed)
I am a bit stressed now… Darryn is trying to fix my beautiful article (which I have noticed I seem rather unhealthily over attached too!). I feel so uncomfortable knowing that my beautiful article is out there in cyber-space looking unkempt…. Darryn is taking ages… he takes in fact 3 hours and still the article is not perfect!
This of course has put all my plans behind – I am not relaxed and glowing with Sunday morning family love fest emotions. Darryn is frustrated and determined to fix my article. I want to just delete it and start from scratch as it will take me 30 minutes to reload. Sheannah has picked up on this emotion and gone into noisy, attention seeking, grizzly mode, she doesn’t even have her usual morning sleep – she is clingy (what is going on she is thinking..).
By 11am I say, “your mother will be here soon” just leave it, we have things we have to do. He is not happy with me – he feels I have been judging him…Oh dear, mum arrives minutes latter…. Ok my hair is done that’s something… I race into my bathroom to put on some decent clothes and throw some make-up on and attempt a 2 minute attitude adjustment, returning to welcome them a few minutes latter…Sheannah is not happy and messy from her late morning tea… no shopping has been done (we will have to make do with what is in the fridge – we did get most of it yesterday)… no food preparation (I can do it as we go)… the house is passable (at least the make shift guest room has been set up)… Alyse our oldest daughter has forgotten to tell Brittany about lunch, we can’t contact her, so we proceed without her….
Over a cup of tea half an hour later, I recant my tale to Gloria – she laughs… she understands, she used to try and do it too.
I promise myself to not fall for this again (hold on, I am sure I only made that promise to myself last month??)…
Once I surrendered and embraced the grace of BE-ing in the NOW – opening myself to the beauty of our guests and the moment, everything moved forward wonderfully. Not perfectly conforming to my vision, rather a little hap-hazardly, messily, but importantly joyfully, lovingly and freely. We had a great afternoon and evening.
To the concept of SUPER WOMAN – I say be gone! I tried to be that when my oldest children were babies (and I was 22), it resulted in a complete breakdown by the age of 27.
I have learned I AM NO SUPER WOMAN, I do not want to be one… I want to BE my genuine, authentic, loving self, student of life, of service – warts and all, everyday of my life… no more, no less.
Wishing you heaven in your heart, starlight in your soul, laughter, rainbows, bubbles, music and miracles in your life in these miraculous times!