Ending Dating
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Ending Dating
"We lose so much when we rely on texts for significant communication. We misread the intent behind written words and we fill in gaps, often with inaccurate stories. Even if the couple hasn't actually been a 'couple' in terms of formally dating, if you're spending time together or having sex, changing that situation is significant enough to benefit from an actual conversation," licensed professional counselor Shelley A. Senterfitt, JD, MS, told INSIDER.
"Be as honest as you can without harming the other person. If the current arrangement no longer works for you because you're too busy with other commitments, you've started dating someone else, or you've just decided you want more 'me' time, simply say so," Senterfitt advised.
It's also a good idea to start the conversation by mentioning what you've enjoyed about spending time with the other person. This is the perfect time to bring up their stellar sense of humor, infectious positivity, or even how much you've enjoyed the physical side of the relationship.
"Make it a clean break. Moving from dating someone to a 'friend zone' can be incredibly difficult, and the boundaries of the budding friendship are already blurred," licensed mental health counselor Erin Parisi told INSIDER.
Turning a casual dating relationship into a no-strings-attached sexual arrangement might sound like a fun and easy way to avoid a difficult breakup talk. However, you should consider the ramifications before moving from one kind of undefined relationship to another.
"It's not a clean break if you continue to hook up with someone you were dating. Moving from a non-official relationship to a friends-with-benefits situation doesn't have clearer boundaries, it may even have less clear boundaries," warned Parisi.
According to Maria Sullivan, dating expert and VP of Dating.com, and Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, it makes sense why it might feel awk AF to call it quits on something that was never made official, especially if you generally avoid or put off confrontation.
Of course, if the person you were dating has mistreated you or made you feel unsafe in any way, then you have absolutely no obligation to meet up with them in person or even call them on the phone. Your top priority should be to break it off in whatever way makes you feel comfortable and secure.
Young people experiencing dating abuse often live in a world of isolation, self-doubt and fear that affects every aspect of their lives, including school. Jessica, a survivor of teen dating abuse, has a story that is all too common.
When Jessica was a sophomore at Fairfield High School, she began dating a fellow student. She believed that the intensity of his feelings for her caused his initial jealousy. But that soon transformed into a pattern of overbearing control. He declared that no one else existed besides the two of them. He forbade her from talking to girlfriends and young men. He dictated that she not wear makeup or skirts.
Preventing adolescent dating abuse in and around schools is essential. It can be done with in-classroom education and school policies that teach teens about healthy relationship skills and give school staff the tools they need to foster those behaviors. These school plans should include elements that are known to increase positive outcomes for teens, including youth development programs that go beyond relationship education to engaging adults in their communities in violence prevention strategies. Supported by their schools and the adults around them, empowered teens can lead healthy relationship discussions in their schools, creating a real cultural shift among their peers.
There are local domestic violence organizations in every community able to assist their local schools with tailored curricula and policies. In addition, a joint publication of the California School Boards Association and the California Partnership to End Domestic Violence offers guidelines for school boa